(requested by: Jeronimo)So I don't have to tell the story soooooooooo many times, I'll write it on my blog so when this happens (the following is in SoCal Surfer-Dude accent) "Dude, What happened to your phone?", I can be like "Dudee, check out my blog!
At this moment it looked like we just landed in Japan everyone around me was running from Godzilla. Me being the slow reactor, is thinking *Wtf is goin-HOLLY CRAP A BEAR*. Then I stood like this [:O>-<. Then shortly after a few minutes (from this point on a man screams "My leg!" every 2-5 minutes) , while people where running like chickens with their heads chopped off, my voice box turned on again and noises expelled from my throat. This is because my throat was dry from the long hike. After my release of emotion, I just sat their for a second [Bl-/-< and the bear sort of did the same thing I was doing.
This "second" turned into a few minutes as I pondered what to do. Then my stomach began to growl louder than the bear, it was even biting at my arm. So I thought of a way to end this quick, so I can get some grub ASAP. Then I proceed with my plan.
So If you know me, like my friends do, you will know my eyes are ubber sensitive to light, wind, and comedians. Anyone of these make the sprinklers or waterworks of my eye go on like *SNAP*, or as my friends would say that I am sweating through my eyes, to solve this I were my colorful sunglasses Like most days, I had one on this very day. Luckily for me, the EBay fairy didn't come for the bear, so the bear ain't got no sunglasses. If you wondered, I had my orange ones on. So with the sun at about ∠57. 9° above me, I grabbed my paper weight of a beta phone and lined it up where the sun was and hit right in right of both of it's black eyes.
The bear reacted by scrunching up its face and trying to slap the light off his face. Then he, with eyes wide shut and unknowingly, took a step toward me and punch. He managed to come into contact with that same phone of mine that I had in my hand from when I was trying to pick a song to play, that was before all this mess. This force knocks me on my back. From the ground, I watched him starting to walk backwards in to the Place Where the Tall Trees Grow, stumbling on twigs and gopher holes as he went. After falling twice, this bear got the idea that maybe he should turn around. He did just that and disappeared behind the pine, orange, and apple trees.
People ran around like the headless chickens for 7.38 minutes before slowly one by one, my family and other hikers that I saved, noticed that the bear was no more. They all thanked me and offered to buy me dinner and shower me with other awesome gifts, because I saved their life. I said sure why no. Yah it is not the "hero like" thing to accept gifts, but my stomach was turning into a noisy bear. I grab my phone to invite friends to come and celebrate with me, but then I noticed that the phone shattered. I saved at least 22 people (not counting me who counts as 4;) and a few more passing bystanders from a bear and I only got a cracked screen. Pretty cool, don'tcha think.